Dr.Kadowaki, Professional Therapist.
by The Dream Team
Summary: Squall goes to get some quick psychiatric help. (From the twisted minds that brought you...um, all of Mariye's works and, um...all of Alan Smithee's works.)


"But...I don't want to go to therapy..." Squall wailed. "It's for crazy people and depressed rich people!"  
"Come on, Squall...Therapy isn't a bad thing. You've been really...distant lately..." Zell replied.  
"But I'm distant all the time..."  
"Hey, therapy's a blast! They let you just shoot the shit, talk about what you want to do to who you want to do it to...And if you're lucky, you get Ritalin from them!" Irvine added.  
"Well, all right. Just this once..." Squall walked toward Dr.Kadowaki's office and sat down. "Oh, hi, Squall! We don't have money for me to hire more doctors, so I'm doubling as psychiatrist. Let's see your file...It says here...You don't care?"  
"...Whatever." Squall replied. "Look, can we get this over with?"  
"Well you have to care about something. Everyone has to..." Dr.Kadowaki replied.  
"I thought so too....I guess you don't. Strange, huh?"  
"What about your writing? I saw all of that work you did in Garden's literary magazine..."  
"Caring just made it harder to lose stuff. Writing is just a way to show how I don't care about anything else. " Squall replied.  
"well that is a risk of caring....so what, are you just made up of indifference now?"   
"...Whatever. " Squall turned away.  
"So what about violence? Do you care about that?" Dr.Kadowaki asked. Squall just remained silent.  
"Hmmm...(I'll get him...) what about sorceresses named Rinoa?" Squall sat and thought  
"Cute little brunettes are the devil in disguise. Especially if they're sorceresses."   
"What about instructors?" Dr.Kadowaki asked.  
"...Whatever." Squall replied.  
"Well, that shows a little bit much...let's try some word association, shall we? Laguna Loire..."   
"*sigh* Lazy idiot... " Squall yawned.  
"Seifer Almasy..."  
"Little asshole owes me 5 gil..." Squall said.  
"Balamb Garden..."   
"Shitbox near the ocean...."  
"(Dammit...what can I use that he'll care about...) Gunblade..."   
"Very cool if you can get one..." Squall replied.  
"Griever..."   
"Old school track...."  
"Hmm (What can no person resist having an opinion about?).... Jerm ...."  
"PUNK ASS BITCH ASS NIGGA ASS MOTHERFUCKER!" Squall shouted.  
"Very interesting.... I'm getting a picture of how you think now...now we're going to try some inkblots..."  
"...Whatever." Squall pulled out a cigarette...  
"Since when do you smoke?" Dr.Kadowaki asked.  
"Since this kept getting so boring..." Squall replied.   
"Let's move on." Dr.Kadowaki pulled out a splotch. "What do you see here?"   
"...An inkblot." Squall replied.  
"Okay... here, look at this one..." Dr.Kadowaki changed to a different splotch.  
"Um...The wings on the back of Rinoa's outfit..." Squall replied.   
"Well, that's a very positive response. Would you like to elaborate your feelings for Rinoa?" Dr.Kadowaki responded.   
"She's....she's...." Squall broke out in tears. "She's the equivalent...."  
"Squall, Do you want to try to go on, or is it too painful?" Dr.Kadowaki asked.  
"Sure..."  
"Alright, what is she the equivalent of?" Dr.Kadowaki asked. Squall tried to regain his composure, but it was for naught, as he could only make the words "The...the...girl of my dreams..." out to Dr.Kadowaki before he started wailing.   
"I see. Is Rinoa someone who you are able to comunicate with?" Dr.Kadowaki asked.  
"Yes...the only female who would ever give me the time of day...real or fake..." Squall cried.  
"And what about Ms. Trepe?"   
"...She's just...nothing....like a sister..."  
"But you said that Rinoa was the only female to give you the time of day. What about Quistis?" Dr.Kadowaki asked.   
"Quistis just doesn't awaken any old feelings...Rinoa...it's like when I'm around her, I feel...complete...haven't felt so...alive...in nearly a year..." Squall replied.   
"How long have you been isolated?"   
"Since...around May... I first met Rinoa...around July..." Squall replied.  
"I see. What were you like before May?"   
"Outgoing...happy....funny as all hell...."   
"YOU?!?!?!?! Oh, wait, I'm sorry here, it's just...YOU?!?!?!?!?!?!" Dr.Kadowaki yelled in astonishment.  
"Yes..."   
"I mean... what made you suddenly become sullen in May?" Dr.Kadowaki asked.   
"I was...forced from her..." Squall started to sob..   
"From who?" Dr.Kadowaki asked.  
"The police...said they'd arrest me if I went back... Couldn't take it... Nearly took my gunblade on myself..." Squall started to cry again. Dr.Kadowaki passed him a tissue and started to ask some questions.  
"Went back where?"  
"My heart was totally broken by faceless peoples..."   
"How?"  
"They stopped me from going to their place...stopped me from the only place I could ever see her..." Squall burst into tears again. Dr.Kadowaki tried giving him a hug, but it did nothing to stop the deluge of tears from falling... "It still hurts..."   
"Yes, I know it hurts, but in order to heal you have to say it..." Dr.Kadowaki said.  
"No...it will still hurt no matter how much..." Squall replied.  
"You have to say it, Squall..."   
"As long as the sun and moon switch places... As long as I'll never be able to see her face...even saying it wouldn't help me out.." Squall lamented.   
"Now now, come on, out with it... just tell me..." Dr.Kadowaki replied.  
"The...movie theater..." Squall barely let it out before breaking out into tears. Dr.Kadowaki hit her head and slouched over. "Man, and I thought I was gonna get good gossip. Seifer's gonna have my head on a platter..."   
"What...Seifer? " Squall asked. "Why does he care about this stuff?"  
"Huh? Um.... Did I just say something? Oh, our time is up...I have another appointment...'Dr.Katz' is on..." Dr.Kadowaki gathered up her tape recorder and her notes and bolted out the door.  
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Extra bonuses: The Dream Team Aptitude Test.  
  
During the course of this piece, the two members of this grouping each broke their characters (Alan Smithee as Squall, Mariye as Dr.Kadowaki) at least once. Find all of the places where character was broken, and one of the two might just e-mail you to congratulate you!  
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End file.
